A dating website for married people seeking extra-marital affairs has revealed that 89% of married people who cheat on their spouses never get found out. The website has also published The Fundamental Rules of Successful Philandering, revealing the insider secrets of committing adultery and getting away with it.
Undercover Lovers surveyed 6000 (3k of each gender) of its 650,000 adulterous members to discover how many of them had ever been caught out for having an affair. A staggering 95% of female and 83% of male respondents claimed to have successfully conducted their illicit encounters without their spouses finding out.
Undercover Lovers spokesperson Emily Pope comments: ‘Many of our members, both male and female, have been philandering for years without being caught. Studies have shown that women are actually better liars than men, so it’s not surprising that female adulterers are better at getting away with it than their male counterparts.’
According to Dr David Holmes, a psychologist at Manchester Metropolitan University, women are having more affairs than ever (recent studies say the figure is around 20 per cent for men and a little over 15 per cent for women) but they behave very differently from men when they cheat.
Dr Holmes says: ‘Women are better liars because they’re more psychologically sophisticated. Emotionally they make plans and have strategies, while men are more impulsive. The biggest difference is that women are much better at keeping their affairs secret. If you look at the studies into paternity, even conservative figures show that between eight and 15 per cent of children haven’t been fathered by the man who thinks he’s the biological parent.’
Undercover Lovers also asked its members to reveal their top tips for having an affair without getting caught, and has compiled a guide called The Fundamental Rules of Successful Philandering from the most popular responses.
The Fundamental Rules of Successful Philandering
1. Choose your affair partner carefully. Never have an affair with someone from your work or social circles. Pick someone who is married or in a relationship – and therefore has as much to loose from discovery as you.
2. Cover your digital tracks! Never use your home computer or normal mobile phone for affair communications. Get a dedicated Pay-As-You-Go mobile and keep it at work or well hidden in your car. Ensure you have disabled any location tracking apps such as Facebook Places on your mobile phone, social networks etc. Use cash for all of your affair related purchases such as restaurant and hotel bills and gifts for your secret lover, so as not to leave any financial paper trails.
3. Tell no-one about your affair – not even your best friend! The more people that know, the more chance of being found out. It’s also likely that your best friend knows your spouse, so telling them would place your mate in a morally awkward position.
4. Keep your illicit love life well away from home. Never have an affair with someone from your immediate neighbourhood – i.e. within a 20 mile radius of where you live – and don’t arrange a rendezvous with your lover locally either. If you do, sooner or later you’ll be spotted by someone who knows your spouse and outed!
5. Don’t be greedy! Only have one affair partner at a time and only rendezvous with them once or twice a month at a regular day and time. Juggling two relationships is difficult enough, and every additional partner multiplies the danger of discovery exponentially.
6. Don’t fall in love with your affair partner! This will only complicate matters and is likely to make you careless in covering your tracks.
Emily Pope for Undercover Lovers observes: ‘Our Fundamental Rules of Successful Philandering reveal that successfully having an affair depends on efficient organization, minute attention to detail and an ability to mentally multi-task, all of which women tend to be more proficient at.’
UndercoverLovers.com was launched in 2009 and is the UK’s premier extra-marital dating agency. With overt 650,000 members, the site was created to provide a safe, discreet and non-judgmental environment, where married women and men can meet. The majority of the site’s members are 30 and 40 something professionals earning on average £10k more than the UK’s median wage, and have been married for 5+ years. Unusually for a dating website, Undercover Lovers has an almost even ratio of male and female members.
Have you had an affair? Are you a mistress? Maybe you or your partner used an affairs website as above? Perhaps an affair ruined your relationship or you managed to stay together despite one? National newspapers and women’s magazines are always looking for stories about affairs and will pay well for stories about adultery. To see if you have a story to sell, contact sister website Featureworld: Sell My Story